This Seat is Yours

Here it is nearly two months later, yet every Sunday I wanted to sit here and write. The BLOCKER: I felt like every story that came to mind made me sound like some heroine or "good deed doer" and I never wanted this to be a place of 'self-praise.' So, let me share with you praise of others; the people of the airways...my encounters 30,000 feet above our Earth, stuck in a massive jet that suddenly feels like tin can, as I battle every claustrophobic moment with a prayer.

"This Seat is Yours"

In the past couple of months I have been on numerous flights and the observation I have made is that somehow my seats are "picked" for me. I fly Southwest, which does not assign seating, and I have discovered that I am drawn to a seat and the person I am seated next to is "meant to be" for me in that exact moment of time. Out of all the seats, all the people, all the possibilities, they each have filled a very important part of me, of who I am, and who I am continuing to become.

Flight One:
Walking down the narrow aisle, nearly all the seats taken, I approach the emergency exit row and two large men stare up at me, both pointing to the seat between them, "We saved this seat for you." I smile, happy to have the leg room and their smiles convey, 'good company' as well.

The conversation started immediately. He was a tall, big man, in his late forties, clean shaven and casual...until the photos he shared where his 'bad-boy-self' appeared on a few of his customized Harleys. He was a professional, a consultant, working long hours, long weeks on end, but he knew how to play just as hard as he worked. Extreme vacations. Motorcycles. Cigars and whiskey. And, out of the blue, an outstanding father as well. He was so proud of his daughter, whom he had raised solely for the first 5 years of her life. She plays pro volley ball and has an outstanding education. She is responsible and respectful. He could have charged for and held a seminar for the wisdom he freely passed along regarding parenting do's and don'ts. We spoke of our daughters, of our careers, and then the subject matter switched to spiritual views, to morals, and judgment / non-judgement. He had a secret, one he kept from his wife, and I was the one he decided to confide in. I am no man's judge and clearly stated this saying,
          "If you can lay your head on the pillow at night and honestly answer to yourself and to your God, then that is the real test, that is where your answers lie."
He replied that this was the very place he was the most uncomfortable, because he could not fall asleep in peace at night. The conversation that transpired was amazing. We spoke of honesty, forgiveness, truth, and the big picture of what life means to us individually. I may have been his "confession booth" for that particular flight, but our conversation opened my eyes, my mind, and my soul to ACCEPTANCE; not just of people, but the varied views and compromises that we as humans feel we have to make in order to live this gift of life as sanely as possible. Yes, sanely...not just as peacefully or happily as possible, but sanely. We must not judge. We are only responsible for expressing love toward others and acceptance of one another;  for we do not see the big picture of another's life...that is between them and their Maker. I was richly blessed for the perspective I gained that day.

Not only did he impart to me a new perspective, but he kept my frazzled self calm during what is always a challenge for me; landing. It was a rough landing with bumps and dips, and in my mind, an 'out of control' attempt at landing our massive aircraft. He made me stare at him as we counted 1-2-3 and tapped on a pressure point on our wrists. Together. I would focus for a bit then freak out and clench the seat handles and dart a glance out the window. He'd pull me back in with his counting. We landed twice, you know like a stone skipping across the water's surface, but we landed safe. I shook like a leaf in the breeze barely connected to its branch, but I managed a thank you, "You were my guardian angel today, thank you."


Flight Two:
My flight had all together been cancelled only 2 hours before I was to depart. I was stuck in Buffalo and had to be back in Boston at work by 8am the next morning. The airlines' solution was to merely fly me out the following morning, but I wouldn't make my obligations then. Within 20 minutes my sister-in-law and brother-in-law found me a new flight: and the adventure began. Delay after delay, and several adult beverages later, I experienced "flight two".

Another middle seat, emergency exit row again, and a man bigger than the last, early forties, with honest eyes. He was an educator for blue collar workers, teaching a trade; industrial painting. Imparting a skill for the betterment of society and the lives of these men, who given their past would never qualify for a "corporate" position among the white collar class of workers, but yet, he was giving them the opportunity to have self worth and pride in their abilities to provide for themselves and their families.

Another outstanding father. He shared his long story of raising three daughters in an unhappy marriage and then finally leaving when the youngest was in high school...the sacrifices he made for the sake of his children, moving and job changes, and the lessons he had learned along the way. The choices his daughters made regarding education and career...successful in the eyes of many. Then the daughter who already made him a grandfather and how his grandson lights his world with love and laughter and how he wouldn't change any of that. He showed off a picture of his 5 year old grandson, his pride and joy. His eyes lit up with happiness as he spoke of him. He gave me a glimpse into his world. A life. Selfless, yet proud. He inspired me.

He remains in my heart as a reminder that when life presents us with an obstacle, a challenge, a disappointment; that it really just comes down to our perspective and the choice we make. How can we make the best of what is presented to us? He was proud of his life. No real regrets. He had done and was doing the BEST he could.


Flight Three:
Baltimore airport...crowed with stranded travelers. Delayed flights and chaos. Not a shop open. No bar stool to refresh my mind and calm my nerves. Nearly midnight and exhausted I find my way onto my last flight of the night. My seat is picked for me; like a magnet to the fridge, or the tides to the moon, I am drawn in. Again, the middle seat of the emergency exit. Again, both passengers are big men, but the one by the window is who I instantly connect with. I don't remember asking him what he did or him asking me, but I quickly learned. Softly he said,
"I am a horse doctor."
I heard doctor just fine, but repeated what I thought I heard,
"Did you say you are a HORSE doctor, like a horse vet?"
I informed him that right then and there my dream came true, because I was now seated next to my hero. "Some people dream of sitting next to a celebrity or meeting someone famous, like a rock star or the president. Not me, I am your biggest fan! and you are my all time hero."
Never knew such a statement could make a man blush, but he did. I told him how ever since I was a very little child I wanted to be a veterinarian, and how at 10 years old I told this to our vet and then he shattered those dreams when he held my face in his hands and said,
"Oh, that is great, Stephanie, so you like math then?"
I shook my head no. Then he asked,
"Well, you must like science, huh?"
Again I shook my head no. He stood up with his hands on his waist,
"Then, Sweetie, you should probably do something else."
I hate how at such a young age my dream had been ripped from me...I just didn't know any better or didn't have the fire in me, yet, to prove that man wrong. So, here at 35 years old, a horse doctor was telling me it wasn't too late. Already having a medical background gave me a head start. He lit a fire inside. I talked his ears off. I asked question after question. Due to weather we were stranded on the runway for an additional 45 minutes, and I was happy about it, even sitting there in that tin can.

I learned that he never flies commercial, and the only reason he was on that flight was (of course to make my night) because one of the engines on his plane, yes, his personal plane, was in the shop getting some work done. I sat there like a sponge soaking in every word that came from his mouth. He listened to me too though. I had no idea why he wanted to hear my stories when he was the hot topic here!!! I learned why the horse went down and landed on me when I gave him his shot all those years ago...the carotids take it right to the brain, but I was aiming for the jugular. Apparently I missed. He laughed. I was humbled...and instantly asked if that was why the horse ended up dying a few weeks later. No, he assured me it was not. He put me at ease when he said every one who has to give a horse a shot has either done that or will. We were comfortable. We sat there and I wished the flight was longer. I never felt claustrophobic. I never panicked. Didn't even realize we landed until after the fact. I didn't want the night to end...I wanted to keep listening. He traveled all over the world. He had clients in countries I could only ever imagine visiting. I hung onto every word.

We walked out of the airport together. I had a shuttle coming to take me to the extented parking and I was nervous...it was nearly 2am and I felt safer with this horse doctor, my hero, that I had just spent nearly 2 hours getting to know than the stranger who was going to be taking me to the spooky parking place. I asked him to accompany me to my car and then I would take him to his hotel. Less than 15 minutes later I was saying good-bye to my real live hero and I instinctively stood on my tip toes to hug his neck and he leaned in and kissed my cheek. He informed me that he was not easily impressed and I had now left a lasting impression. I hoped he knew how much meeting him had meant to me. He sparked an ember that I thought had died out long ago...but now something burned.

He had created an amazing life; he was an accomplished horse veterinarian, a business man, a leader, a scientist, a healer, a teacher passing on his knowledge to his interns and then freely sharing with me. He was humble, ever so humble. Of course I did my research! The very next day I looked him up online. He didn't even begin to tell me all that he has done and the awards he has received, or the details of the practice he owns. What a man! I have to admit, I think my type of hero is amazing and I felt so lucky, so blessed, to have met him, face to face, and to have shared the time we did.

INSPIRED: the travelers along my journeys have taught me so much and have inspired me on numerous occasions, but on this night particularly, something in my heart changed. I found a new belief: not necessarily to return to school and become a horse doctor, not yet at least, but to BELIEVE that ANYTHING is possible. To BELIEVE that a GREAT LIFE can be created, one decision at a time, one effort at a time, one accomplishment after another. Thank you, "Doc."


Flight Four:   To be continued...for this opens another chapter. The chapter of travel and work has ended. Stephanie as a traveling sonographer is no more...I begin a new chapter the 19th of this month. But it all began on "Flight Four" on my way to the Keys.